I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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