He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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