TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The struggles of a small town man whore
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
