Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
