is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
