I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
