did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we have pet lesbian snakes
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
