he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
