Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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