I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
