I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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