is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize