We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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