Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
