Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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