what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
