just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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