I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
soo... how was my night?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
