Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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