My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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