She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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