Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
