i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
