What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome