The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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