You made me cry and you don't even care
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.