ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
