She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize