I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
