Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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