I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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