So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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