New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize