I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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