i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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