Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i drank out of a bidet.
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Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
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I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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