So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm getting married
To pizza
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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