Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
