i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
