My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
MIDGETS
????
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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