guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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