my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
