One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
