I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
