you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
