I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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