ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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