just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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