Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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