I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
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the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
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I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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