1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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