no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
