Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
