I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
