Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
