you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
