Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
