That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
