Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
