Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
