Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
