He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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