Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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