how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
