Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
don't judge my taste in strippers
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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