I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
then he tried to convert me to islam
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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