last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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