The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
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She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
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I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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