plz talk dirty to me
she looked like the before picture.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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