I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
