according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We don't watch enough power rangers
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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